Here it is almost 4am and I'm wide awake dreading morning..... I had a wonderful visit with my Mom, Stacey and Scotty. But, they are heading out tomorrow back to Tennessee with my Punk for the the rest of her Summer vacation and I'm tearing up as i sit writing this. I miss my family so much and now my Punkie is going to be gone for a month!!!! I honestly do not know how I'm going to handle this, I'm thinking it's time to call the doctor for an up dose on my medications..... I need to get back in to see them anyhow, I haven't been going to my twice weekly therapy sessions like i should be. Blah.
I'm tired of feeling alone.
I have my hubby and my babies, which are my world. So I'm not completely alone, just alone in a different aspect.
Not having the people in my life like my Mom, Stacey and Scotty really hurts because i miss them so much and sometimes i just want to jump in the car and visit for the day like we use to do. Cook outs, having my girls spend the night every other weekend with their Nanny and Papa, or going to my sisters house to hang out, drink a margarita and play cards or videos games. I miss having someone to talk to about things my hubby, 6 year old and 3 month old just don't understand. I just REALLY miss having my Mom. I worry all the time that something may happen to her, Ive ALWAYS been a Mommas girl. And Gracie... I want Gracie to know them and I'm not talking about just knowing them as "oh, that's my grandma, grandpa, aunt and uncle". I want her to know them like Katie knows them. She hasn't even got to meet some of her grandparents. But, we can't always have what we want, can we?!.....
They have made a better life for themselves and i respect that and I'm very happy for them because that is all i want for my little family too!
Besides all this sadness in me right now it was a great visit, short but sweet!
They got here Tuesday night in time for Spaghetti i made for dinner, we talked and played Yahtzee! I hadn't played in so long i had forgotten how to play for a minute lol but it came back to me after a while. ;0)
Today Stacey, Scotty and I made a COFFEE run!! Love my mud(that's how i like it)!!!!! I can barely function without the crap!
Today was a soggy rainy day, see?
Kinda how i feel inside...
But, i do feel a little better getting some of these things off my chest and into writing, which is one of the reasons i love to blog, it's therapeutic for me and also this good cry i had!!
Believe me you will be hearing more of my sobbing tomorrow when reality sets in that i wont get to hug, hold, kiss, ect my Punkie for a month. Till tomorrow- I'm out xox
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