Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Storm Walker....

Sorry y'all i know i haven't posted since the 16th.. I have so much going on that my brain has been a spindle wheel of hell!!! Katie decided to slam her poor tiny middle finger in the car door as she was getting out of the car for her first day of second grade, it ripped the nail a little and automatically turned black and blue. The school nurses put a band-aid on it and sent her on her way, it didn't look to bad. When she got home and i seen it i wanted to barf ,it swelled up pretty good and the whole finger turned  purplish, I called the doctors and made an appointment for the both of us since i would be taking her in anyway might as well get my bi-polar, poor health issued self back to the doctor too. They did an X-ray of her hand, nothing was broken. But, Doc thinks she tore a ligament or something. So now she is in a finger splint that has her shooting a permanent "bird" for the next few weeks LOL  I need to get me one of those!!! As for me, Doc reevaluated all my medications and added more and plans to add more in the next few weeks..AWESOME!! ::Rolling Eyes:: Well, at least we think my stomach ulcers are under control..Maybe! Thank the Lord i have some kind of insurance because just one of my mood stabilizers for a one month supply cost more then my monthly mandatory bills... Craziness!!

It was a shock when i walked in to talk to the Doc...

People I'm here to talk about the loss of my only Son, my stillborn Son. So, Tell me why in the hell would you send me to talk to a big fat belly pregnant women???? Really? I mean not only is that an issue for me. but, i would think that would be a major issue for this poor pregnant lady having to hear my heartbroken cries over losing my baby......
I'm pretty sure i scared the living hell out of her. Sorry Doc! I don't plan on keeping her as my main shrink though, I love my regular one Shin Le'..She is an awesome little Asian lady who actually listens(or at least i think she does, which is ummmm IMPORTANT!!) The faces she makes as i bring up new hellish topics to talk about, LOL helps ease the moments of pure pain and the "oh" "wow" and "oh my's" of the blissfully unaware are somehow comforting... is that demented of me??
I've been through a lot in my 31 one years... I have a lot to get out. She honestly hasn't even heard a quarter of the hell I've been through. I haven't even got to my Daddy's suicide with her.
The Doc asked me to start keeping a journal to which i replied, What year would you like to read first???
 Due to my short term memory loss issues, I've always been a writer I mean i have them, it might take me a month or two to find them in my hoarded hell of a storage, Page 1 and 3 might be in this box and page 2 and 4 might be in that box..but they are there!!
All i can say to her is hang on lady you got a hell of a ride being my shrink!!!! 

It's getting closer to my Son's 2nd Angelversary, emotions are sky high...

I've been taking on so much here lately to try and keep busy. Fundraising, Blogging, Reviewing Products and my daughters little glow company. Plus all the normal daily Mommy & Wife tasks. 



Just a real one trying to do the best she can!

Don't forget to VOTE for me!!
It would mean the world to me!!

Thanks a Million!!

1 comment:

  1. While we all pray that this therapist has a safe healthy pregnancy and delivery, this is her line of expertise! And well if she has never dealt with the loss of a child, may it bring her to the awareness of it. May it also give her the ability to connect and be more understanding with her patients in all areas of her practice! The Lord knows what he is doing and sent you to her for a reason!!!!!